Interview: Torn Apart and Analyzed!

Andria: Hello, my name is Andria, I understand that you want to stay anonymous. I wanted to ask you a few questions pertaining to your involvement with the Pro ANA movement, will that be alright? What does Pro ANA stand for?

Pro ANA Member: Sure, Pro ANA means Pro Anorexic. That basically means that I accept my eating disorder as a lifestyle and not a disease.

• In this moment, I have started the interview by setting the foundation on how this Pro ANA member defines Pro ANA.  It is in this moment, we as an audience can understand that Pro ANA is, for this community, a lifestyle decision.  This is to say that these members know they have anorexia, and choose to continue this disorder as their Decision.

Andria: Does that mean that you oppose the idea of recovery?

PA Member: Personally, no not entirely. I can not speak for every Pro ANA.

• After this point in the interview, we as an audience can understand that although this member is representative to the community of Pro ANA, she does not speak for every individual and their unique mindsets.  We also see that this member doe not oppose the idea of recovery, which is especially interesting considering Pro ANA is to accept your eating disorder.  Recovery is a direct contradiction that implies that this acceptance can be reversed.

Andria: This community is founded and is thriving online, is that where you find yourself taking part of this culture?

PA Member: Yes, absolutely. The only time I even communicate about ANA is online within the safe haven of people who identify with me. Even those who don't identify with me are accepting within these communities.

• This is a very important turning point in the interview.  I simply ask if this member takes part in the online culture of Pro ANA.  The member goes as far to say that online is the only time she communicates about Pro ANA at all.  She identifies these online communities as "safe havens"   because they are filled with people who identify with her decision to continue her eating disorder.  She says that within these safe havens, even the people who don't directly  identify with her accept her decisions.  This is a very plain example of how the members of these communities shouldn't be met with opposition and disagreement. Members of these communities are looking for soft and gentle understanding. As audience members, lets keep this in mind should we come in contact with a Pro ANA member outside of this blog.

Andria: Does that mean that you have no friends outside of this online community that you open up to about ANA?

PA Member: Well, I have a texting buddy that I met on a Chatzy forum. We text and vent and encourage each other throughout the day.

• I then asked if this member has any Pro ANA friends, or people who kneew of her lifestly decision outside of the online realm.  This member opened up to me about a "texting buddy".  They encourage each other daily.  What is interesting about this friend is that altough it is outside of the online realm, it is still confined by technology.

Andria: Encourage what exactly?

PA Member: We remind each other to exercise, and even get competitive. Sometimes we tell each other we are stronger than our hunger, and chastise each other for eating. It is nice to have someone that understands and tells me what I want to hear.

• I asked this member what were they encouraging, and she told me they they are competitive. They compete on who can exercise more, who can go the longest without eating, and they chastise each other when the other fails.  She says that the best part of this is relationship is having someone to tell her what she wants to hear.  This can be true of any relationship.

Andria: What is it that you want to hear then?

PA Member: I mean I want someone to tell me I am fat and to work harder. I am sick of hearing people tell me how skinny I am or how I should eat. I don't want to eat.

• The question then was, what does she want to hear?  This gets interesting, because as non-disordered people, we want to hear that we are pretty or that we are doing well.  This Pro ANA member says that she wants to hear that she is fat and needs to work harder.  She doesn't want to hear whats best for her, but rather what  her own mind is telling her.  This probably derives from the idea of understanding.  She equates understanding with the idea that someone else will tell her what she tells herself.

Andria: So you want to be told you are fat and need to work harder?

PA Member: Yes, absolutely. That is how I keep myself motivated, and this is a lifestyle that I want to continue.

• I wanted to verify the answer,and she said yes. She wants to stay motivated to continue her disorder, from more than just herself.

Andria: How did you find out you wanted to be apart of this community?

PA Member: It is hard to remember. I had never heard of Pro ANA, but I always had a hateful relationship with food. I began to google ways to get out of eating dinner at family holidays. I found the term Pro ANA and started looking up more information. The more I learned that more I wanted to be apart of the movement. That has to be 6 years ago now.

• So I asked the ultimate question, how did you know you were Pro ANA? She chose to tell me of her personal experience of the internet and how she used it to help her get out of eating.  She says that she stumbled across the term Pro ANA and began researching it.    This is an interesting idea.  Generally, what you will see throughout these community members, is that once you decide to accept your disorder, you become almost obsessive with finding ways to surround every part of your life with the very idea of ANA.  So, to simply find a term and research it until you decide you are apart of the community shows that she had already accepted the ideals of Pro ANA before she even knew about it.

Andria: How did you make the first move to becoming an actual member?

PA Member: I mean it isn't a single group with a signup list. You have to learn first, learn how to accept your eating disorder as your life and not fight it. Once you feel that way, you insert yourself into their chat rooms and forums. You claim it. That is how you become apart. There are parts you can chose not to subscribe to, such as the religious aspects. Ultimately, you just need to recognize your eating disorder, and enjoy having it.

• I asked about how she gained membership, and she seemed surprised.  She explained that there was no signup list.  You accept your disorder as your lifestyle,  and then you insert yourself into the culture.  It is self-proclaimed and terrifyingly easy to become apart of.  You don't even have to subscribe to a doctronine or every single part of the culture.  It is very lienent and open.  More accepting than many other cultures and communities that exist outside of the internet.

Andria: Is there anything else you can tell us?

PA Member: Not that I can think of, it really isn't that difficult of a concept. Can we be finished now?

Andria: Yes. Thank you so much for doing this brief anonymous interview.

PA Member: Not a problem. Thank you too.

Poetry meets ANA

Oky guys, so this is a video  of one of my favorite spoken word poets.   She does a killer job in this poem directly addresssing Pro ANA.  To hear the poem you can skip 1 minute and 10 seconds in.

This is an interesting piece, as it isn't directly the "voice of ANA".  Instead, the poet addresses the issues oof ANA.  She is brutually honest, alrhough at times sliightly insensitive.

There are other spoken word poems on the subject, and a simple Youtube search of "Pro ANA" will help satiate your curiosity.

An Unexpected Language

The language used within the  realm of Pro ANA communities is unique and unexpected.  Of course there is speak and literature that is terrifyingly dangerous. It is what a Pro ANA uses as inspiration or thinspiration.

However, there is also an abundance of acceptance and love.   It goes from one extreme to another.  As far as the chat rooms and forums, there is support for whatever decision a person makes.  That is to say, you can find people who encourage you to eat and tell you that you are not fat.  However, also, you find people  who share their statistics and speak of their goal weight.  There are people that encourage  both ways, and truly the language changes according to who is speaking.  Like any community Pro ANA is compiled of hundreds of unique personalities with individual beliefs.  One person or one website cannot define this culture as a whole.

This is where one member  encourages another to eat, trying to encourage healthy behavior.

This is where the community has come together to even  encourage me after I explained my blog to them.  They  were even happy to allow me to use their chats so long as I blurred out their names.

This is a conversation between  members who are exchanging their statistics in a way that is meant to help encourage each other to continue with their disorder in order to reach their goal weight.

While the chat rooms and forums may differ from person to person, the websites largely stay the same.  They are compiled of thinspo, and literature that encourages starvation or the continuation of one's eating disorder.  There are even song and  book recommendations, so that even when someone is spending their time with a hobby like reading they are obsessively focusing on their eating disorder and everything that comes from having it.

These are screenshots from the website Fading Obsession that show a link to quotes that help motivate people who identify as Pro ANA as well as a book list. This website has other links that show much more literature as well as song recommendations.

These are screenshots from Ana Loves Us.  These photos were found under a link labeled at thinspo.  These photos are supposed to be encouraging and motivational.  This is to serve as a visual reminder of what a Pro ANA member wishes to look like.

So, now that you can see how these communities are both dangerous and supportive, you can form your own opinion about how you feel about them.  The language and rhetoric revolve around the idea that Anorexia and Bulimia are lifestyles and decisions, not disorders.  These sites offer a safe haven for Pro ANA members to continue and thrive  in that mind set.  However, in the chat rooms and forums the people that make up these communities are incredibly accepting and supportive  of any decision their fellow members make.  It is both scary and beautiful.